It’s Not Always Me

It’s not always me.
Sometimes it’s others, those who force their insecurities on me.
You know the type, negative individuals that think they are perfect and their draws don’t stink; they insist that you should be like them. (Yep, I too used to think that I was perfect and expected the world should be like me)They dislike ‘everything’ and insist that you dislike the same things. These individuals repeatedly make gestures and negative comments on things that you enjoy doing.

For the longest I kept falling into that downward trap. Trying to fix myself to accommodate these folks ever changing whims. Downplaying what I enjoy to make sure they are comfortable. Not realizing they’ll never be comfortable. It is actually me feeding into the power of making them feel superior. I was the only one uncomfortable.

Oh boy, I grew up! I messed around and found growth!
I’m talking about that growth that only Jehovah offers, the kind of growth that shows up after you learn better and decide to live better. Growth allows me to make positive steps to meet His expectations, progressing to something more everlasting. Not like humans finicky expectations, I mean life-changing expectations.

What happen was I started reading.
Not only do I ‘read with understanding’, but I implement what I learn.
I no longer believe in perfection. We are born with sin so why should I expect anyone to be perfect. I’m not perfect and these individuals that can’t crawl out of negative land are not perfect either. So, I no longer try to hold up to what imperfect folks think I should do or should not do. My focus is on what He expects from me…what He wants me to do.

I rely on something more fulfilling when making decisions and on how I should treat others. I aim to follow the path of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, mildness, self-control.
When I let love guide me, I find joy.
When terminating my own understanding, I find peace. When I stop, count to 10 and visualize myself in another shoes, I gain patience. When I walk peacefully my steps don’t hurt others and I become kinder. When I surrender to spiritual progression, I feel good and have better skin (just saying). When I see the Word in action, I am comforted in Faith. When I ‘respond’ and not ‘react’ to negativity that doesn’t give me life, I become mild-tempered. When I disengage my sharp tongue, I invoke self-control.

By not relying on my own understanding and following these fruitage of the spirits I cannot fail. When I implement these fruits in my decision making process and let them guide me I am no longer angry with insecure individuals that insist on being negative and want me to do and be negative just like them.

Most importantly when embodying these fruits I embrace confidence. I make wise decisions to live in such a way that results in pleasing Him – the only one that matters.

I’m work in progress… watch me continue to grow.☺️

LOVE Verses Crap

Don’t be flattered. My silence does not equate to agreement. I’m not oblivious to crappy behavior. I am only bobbing and weaving through the nonsense in the air. I’m making leaps over crap when LOVE shows up. Yes, whenever LOVE enters the room, here comes that crap dropping its sour seeds here and there. Crap shows mad jealously when LOVE enters and inserts its power. Don’t get me wrong sometimes crap seems easier to accept. Yet, good old fashion LOVE nourishes the soul and shows how prosperous and joyful life can be. There’s no doubt, crap rules the world. But don’t get it twisted, LOVE owns the earth. So I bet my life on LOVE regardless of crap’s persistence. Face it, LOVE has powerful forces that cannot be reckoned with. Oh, did I mention LOVE fills the soul, forgives mistakes, has open arms, offers complete security and manifests a clear conscious? LOVE makes you want to do right: releases ignorance, it helps others and is kind, shows compassion, embraces positive changes, exudes progression, attracts humility and penetrates through hatred. LOVE is everlasting.

LOVE’s sparkle lights up darkness.

What exactly does crap have to offer? Absolutely NOTHING!

 

Purpose

Never be afraid to embark on a new chapter of your life. Uncertainty may scare us a bit, but let it not stop our intended growth. Taking baby steps result in full grown up steps to a life filled with purpose. Now, it is good to prepare so you’ll be ready for the surprises that always comes with life’s changes. Yet, by putting faith first and not looking back at fears makes a good recipe of PURPOSE drizzled with LOVE.

Let’s go and do this!

Success is Determined by What I Do

“My success does not depend on what others are not doing. My success is determined by what I DO.”

NOT what they do

My Success is Determined by What I DO

Think about how unhealthy it is to worry about what other people are not doing. There are no health benefits to constantly complain and worry about what our coworkers, family members, and love ones are NOT doing.

Worrying can have a negative effect on our health. It makes us tired and causes stress. Worrying speeds up our aging process and may cause depression. It makes us hateful. Worrying becomes a cycle of self-perpetuating negative thoughts. Robert L. Leahy, PhD says, “Worriers are more likely to have irritable bowel syndrome, nausea, fatigue, and aches and pains.

To avoid many of these health issues FOCUS on what oneself is doing which is the key to a successful healthy and productive life.

“A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit saps one’s strength.” – Proverbs 17:22. So don’t let our spirits be crushed by our negative thoughts caused by other’s actions.

Our negative feelings are not the result of our circumstances but of how we view them. So view your circumstances differently. Don’t over think the actions of the deadbeats that surround us, don’t dwell on how we hate our jobs, or what that person over there is not doing and you are doing everything.

Instead plan your path to a successful healthy life. Pray often:  Psalm 34:18 Live better:  Colossians 3:12, 13 Eat cleaner: Basic Food Groups Exercise: Benefits of Strength Train Drink water regularly:  Water-Cold or Room Temperature?  Help others: Give Good  Two Secret Benefits to Help Others

Focus on growth that leads to your personal goals. Appreciate the enormous amount of blessings that Jehovah God has bestowed on you. Always remember that,

“My success is determined by what I DO. My success does not depend on what others are not doing.”

 

resource: http://www.jw.org/en/

My Evolution

My evolution.4 meI am learning to keep it moving regardless of folks who make negative comments and innuendos about every move I make.

My intentions are good and I am resolved in the foundation that belongs ONLY to me.

“A joyful heart makes for a cheerful countenance.

But heartache crushes the spirit.”

– Proverbs 5:13

Individuals must cease judgments regarding my choices and accept my passions. Respect my decisions and appreciate my efforts. Be happy for my preferences. Stop crushing my spirit.

rock in my own skin

Monitor your disappointments when I do not jump to your every ‘expectation’. If unity is in our coexistence, appreciate my self-identity.
I am not kidding, there’s NO living in a bubble going on in my life.

I rock in my own skin.2 me

Appreciate, respect, and cheers to my evolution.

Apologies

There are real apologies and there are fake apologies.

Fake apologies are when someone says, “I am sorry that you feel that way” or “I am sorry if you took it that way.” It is impossible to apologize for how another person feels about your action.  No one can apologize for another person’s feelings. One can only apologize for their action that caused a hurt feeling.

Other fake apologies:

  • The ‘if’ apology, “If I have offended you, I apologize.” There’s no if, clearly your action is offensive.
  • The two-way fake apology, “I am sorry, but you too are the blame.”
  • The reset fake apology, offered only to offend again.

These are not sincere apologies. Fake apologies are offered to pacify and get past the awkward moment.  They are insulting, sarcastic, and lead to multiple fake apologies. Fake apologies allow the person to take no responsibility for their actions and show no acknowledgement of fault.

The definition of an apology is ‘An acknowledgment expressing regret or asking pardon for a fault or offense’.

A good apology consists of these defined components:

  • Ask for clarification on what you did that was hurtful and wrong.
  • Let yourself feel the experience that is explained to you without having a need to explain, justify or react.
  • Acknowledge your wrong act. Admit you were wrong and say you are sorry.
  • Acknowledge your action hurt someone. Connect your wrongful offense to a person’s hurt feelings.
  • Openly communicate your remorse. Say you are sorry that you were hurtful and you feel bad about it.
  • State clear intentions to not repeat the same offense. Explain in detail your plans to avoid repeating your offense.
  • Express your willingness to compensate for your offense. Ask what you can do to make up for the offense. Make sure to commit, invest time, see it through and make amends.
  • Ask for forgiveness. Ask if the person is able to forgive as oppose to the normal, “Will you forgive me?”

One has to give themselves fully to understand the impact ones choices and actions have on the other person and everyone involved. The offender has to empathize with what the experience was like for the person who is hurt. The offender has to really listen and do not defend against the complaint or try to trump it with their own complaint. Do not try to explain psychology: “I always do that because when I was younger…”

Real apologizes come from a sincere and kind heart. A person offers a sincere apology because they understand how their action affected someone. They take ownership to the part they played in causing a hurtful feeling. Sincere apologies breed compassion and growth, unlike fake apologies that leads to hurtful offenses and multiple fake apologies.

Sincere apologizing can be healthy. A study done in 2002 by researchers from Hope College and Virginia Commonwealth University showed that heart rate, blood pressure, sweat levels, and facial tension decreased in victims of wrongs when they imagined receiving an apology.

Benefits of real apologies:

  1. Justice and fairness.
  2. Opportunity to grow spiritually by practicing humility.
  3. Offer the victim respect and restore the esteem that was taken away by the offense.
  4. Heal damaged relationships.
  5. Restore harmony.
  6. Offer the gift of forgiveness to allow the victim to grow spiritually.
  7. Strengthen relationships.
  8. Appropriate future acts and mended ways.
  9. Proud behavior because you will be free from remorse, regret, guilt, and unhappiness.
  10. Plays a crucial role to set a respectful and dignified example in family life.

Apologies and forgiveness, like love and trust, begin with a decision. Make a decision today to apologize quickly and make amends because an opportunity to become a better person results from apologies for missteps, mistakes, and misbehaviors.

In a perfect world the greatest gift to others is to lead a life that doesn’t need any apologies. That is unlikely.

So for now please offer a REAL apology and remember:

“Right actions in the future are the best apologies for bad actions in the past.” 

Apologies T-Shirts

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFo72MEAbW8